If Someone From Your Past Resurfaces

Yes, we tend to take people for granted.  And no I will not post a photo here of when this lady was originally in my life.  What I will say is that I learned how changing your life around can make a bigger impact than you ever imagined.  Additionally, social media has taken this to another level.  I mean how many people have 500+ friends on their Facebook and yet, they only keep in close contact with maybe 50 of them, if that? It happens all too frequently.  And no, this will not be a post about Facebook stalkers because I am sure that we all have plenty of those as well.  This is more about the people that admire you from afar and want to post an encouraging note, they are just unsure of how you will react because at one time or another you fell off of each other's radar.

When I made my journey across country I documented most of it on Facebook.  Sure, I had a list of people I called along the way because I was a young woman traveling by herself, but most people knew where I was and that I was alright because I Facebook.  I would document my stops and say how many hours I had driven.  Every time I would get a group of encouraging responses and even some from people who had already texted me.  It made me feel loved and motivated me to keep going in my pursuit.  I am by any means claiming that I would not have made it without the use of Facebook, I am simply stating that I reached the hearts of those I did not even mean to impact.

Photo by Jaw101ie

Previously, in the "You Are My Hero" post I explained how a coworker from my last workplace gave up his badge after 13 years of employment.  Although he heard of my departure through many colleagues, he further contacted me through a Facebook message.  Well, just this pass week another girl reached out to me with a similar statement.  Although she did not flatter me by saying I was her "hero" she did tell me how I inspired her to take the jump.  She and I were the only mixed girls in my high school.  We were a different grade levels, but participated in extra circular activities together.  When she saw that I dropped everything and moved west she started steadily messaging me on Facebook and then we exchanged numbers.  Just last week she drove across country by herself from Massachusetts to Arizona.  It was lovely to hear from her and I teared up during our long winded conversation.  We both now have better jobs and are experiencing our lives with a totally new, revived and refreshed outlook.

When it comes to social media we have to be careful about what we post.  Often times I cringe when I see people writing about how sad they are or how much of a rut they are in.  We have all been there.  The fact is, too many posts like that make people look at you in a not so bright light.  Think before you post.


The more positive you are, the more lives you may change and before you know it, you could be starting a domino effect.

When Is It Time To Let Go?

"Then I hear a whisper that this too will pass." - India Arie

We have all been there.  In that dried up "relationship" where you have hit a wall.  Now this does not necessarily have to be in regards to the dating world, but this can also occur with a close friends or family members as well.  People are always changing and eventually certain people are not supposed to be in your life.  So how do you go about identifying the right time to make these changes and how do you ensure you do not revert back to your old habits?

Listen to Your Friends


I am a very open individual.  Constantly, I speak what is on my mind and my best friends near and far know almost everything about my life.  When a guy that is not right for me comes into my life they are always ready to express their concern. (These fantastic individuals know exactly who they are and in rough times they are there to catch me when I am about to fall.) There are numerous women out there who are waiting to see you face plant, but don't be the girl that classifies all women or men in one light.  I don't know where I would be without my best friends who love me unconditionally. Even when they let me go in the wrong direction, they never rub it in my face although they were right all along.  The nagging is for a reason, listen to it!

Remember Your Mistakes


Don't fall subject to having the same people in your life.  Do not dwell on your mistakes, but simply learn to read the signs.  It's just like when you went to history class and you were told you had to learn about what happened in the 1800's so we as a government would not repeat history.  Well, the same can be applied to your relationships.  If you had to leave a man who was abusive and you notice possessive tendencies in your new love interest RUN. The same goes for jealous friends or negative coworkers.  Get to know patterns before you become too emotionally invested.

Put Things That Make You Happy First


If you like to write, then pick your book back up.  If the outdoors speaks to you then hike more. Were you once a committed dancer? Get back to the studio. Some people have a real issue with doing things on their own, but if you are not comfortable hanging out with yourself, then how will others enjoy your company?  Take a weekend and commit time to your passions without an outsider's input.

Additionally, Let Go If...

You find yourself fighting for control
You are happier without them
Work is an escape
Your instincts tell you to leave
If your friends and/or loved ones all say the same thing
You find yourself making excuses to do anything else
Comfort is the reason you are seeing each other, nothing else
If you can never see eye to eye (sometimes is OK, but always is never alright)

It is never OK to keep the wrong people in your life. Trust your heart and not your temporary, faulty feelings. There are way too many people in this world that will help you grow and flourish as an individual so why keep the wrong people around?

Photo by sjacobs716 (self)

Get to Know Your Body and Provoke Change

Taking care of our bodies makes a world of difference.  Many people who are dancers as a living could never perform the way they do if their bodies were left unattended to.  Have you ever been to a show that simply blew your mind away?

About 3 years ago a close friend of mine was working at Jacob's Pillow in Becket, MA and wanted me to check out a show with her.  As an employee she received complementary tickets and this was the first show she had invited me to.  The video below just shows a mere glimpse of the Rennie Harris Puremovement (RHPM), but we were stunned by this group's performance.  From Philadelphia, PA this hip hop group has collaborated for the past 20 years to leave their audiences speechless.  They are known for their break dancing skills more than anything else, but the show does not end there.  Comedic aspects are present, a top tier beat boxer as well as powerful messages and black history visions.  The powerful presentation does not allow you to look away or miss one beat.  Small in group size, usually a maximum of 7 people are on the stage at one time.  This allows for members of the audience to identify with everyone's personality.  It is a show no one should miss and ended up being sold out even in the tiny town of Becket, MA, which has a population of only 1,755.  People certainly traveled to see this powerful show.

 

Video by JacobsPillow

Use your body as a form of expression.  Who knows what kind of impression you could make or for how long.  

Video by antreasotiriou

Words That Make a Statement, Words That Change a Mood

Official video made live by AnthonyDavidVEVO

Many lyrics can get us through anything and everything.  At the age of 20, I was heartbroken and lost on my own.  My first love had brought me across country on "vacation" and dumped me during my most vulnerable state.  I ended up lost and confused.  No doubt, even then I had some of the best friends a young lady could ever ask for, but I was looking for real answers and trying to search within myself.  India Arie and her music helped me make it though.  I posted the lyrics to both "There's Hope" and "Better People" on my bedroom wall and would read them whenever I felt morose or uncertain. 

During this time, I also met one of my best friends and I believe if I had still been with that man she and I would have never become so close.  It was truly one of those everything happens for a reason moments.

Since the age of 9 I have been writing.  I started with poetry, progressed to short stories and then started writing a few songs.  By the time I reached high school, while everyone had photos plastered in their lockers and on their notebooks, I had attached my favorite lyrics to these items.  The only thing that has now changed is that I look for inspiring, meaningful words instead of harsh lyrics, but I have always been into the emotion associated with spoken and written word.

I now have a long distance friend that is engulfed by spoken word and every morning I get a positive, uplifting thought from him...I truly treasure his presence.  When he recites his intricate poems I get chills from his power and rhythm.

Flipsyde is another musical group that truly spoke to me.  Their songs are pure and Piper, the rapper is a true poet who stepped inside the realm of rap to obtain a bigger reach through his statements. (Please see the lyrics below the video.)

Video by Foghorn Films

[Verse 1]Hustlin's in my blood my father's name is BritainHis history consisted of robbery killin' and pimpinFilthy rich and the biggest killer that you ever seenOnce I'm older I'm takin' over ima be kingI was locked up in jail when he got the new landOpened his cells I guess that's how the story beganFirst mission was to clear it out and claim it as mineIndigenous people were peaceful it took no timeGreat grandmother Africa was blind and disabledSons was traitors we played divide and conquer invadedSold her children into slavery and profited quickStarted makin' side deals and that's how I got richDaddy Britain found out and tried to put me in checkHe don't understand I'm a man and I deserve some respectTried to bring it to me but I play for keeps and I wonStill my daddy but you ain't the only man with a gunMore money More problems little brother is wildThey call 'em The South he's country with a big ass mouthTried to show 'em new business but he don't wanna changeI love 'em but I knew eventually I'd blow out his brainsI'm America!
[Chorus]You know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless

[Verse 2]Me and my daddy still cool and my uncles is with usFrance Russia and Italy and we all killasBut it's this nigga named Germany that's out of controlRollin with Japan and Turkey and them niggas is boldStarted fuckin' with my uncles and we all went to warUncle France damn near died at the tip of his swordWhen the smoke cleared we won let 'em retreatShoulda' killed 'em cause they knew they had us close to defeatKicked it off again 20 years later it was onThis time my uncle Italy traded and he was goneI was neutral when Japan hit me guess that he knewI aint gone' let my family fight without me jumpin' in tooWoulda' lost if I didn't hit Germany's weapon supplyKamikaze Japanese was always ready to dieDropped atomic bomb let them niggas know that it's realSpeak soft with a big stick do what I say or be killedI'm America!

[CHORUS]You know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless

[Verse 3]I'm racin' with my uncle Russia we the ones with the gunsHe supported the North so I rolled with South VietnamThought it would be easy but almost 60 thousand diedThey was harder than Korea so we ran for our livesIt's a family called the Middle East and they got breadSellin' oil they don't cut me in then off with their headI got a nephew named Israel that's right in the middlePay his allowance as long as he can dance to my fiddleI had a patna' named Iraq gave 'em weapons and moneyNigga started getting' power and he start actin' funnySaudi Arabia's cool gotta son Bin LadenI was trainin' his soldiers to go against the Russians and stop 'emThen he tried to say I need to take my soldiers and cutGave 'em the finger that's when he flipped and blew my shit upI took it to 'em, and then I took it back to Iraq and if you ain't my blood brother you gonna be flat on your backThe sons of Africa just invented this shit called rapTellin' my secrets that's why I'm puttin' their heads on flatBuilt an empire quick and it might not lastBut I bet I go down in history as the one that smashedI'm America!

[Chorus]You know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless AmericaYou know you know God Bless

Hustlin's in my blood my father's name is BritainHustlin's in my blood my father's name is BritainThe red the white the red the white the blueThe red the white the red the white the blue

Lyrics from  MetroLyrics.com

Find your artistic calling and express yourself through it, your niche exists and once you discover it, run with it to pursue your dream.

“You Are My Hero”

Photo taken at Empire State Plaza in Albany, NY by sjacobs716 (self)

The title is a phrase I heard very recently directed my way by someone I had actually looked up to. Those are words that were never before aimed in my direction, but it was a phrase that was wonderful to hear to say the least.

This was stated by my favorite trainer at a previous job.  Out of various trainers we had during our long, long course, he was by far the greatest.  Having invested more than a decade of his short life into this company, he was at the top of his career.  This male exemplified excellence, was an astronomical teacher and the most inspiring to say the least.  His one story always stood out in my mind…

Our job was to help the needy.  (I have played my part being active within not-for-profit organizations for years now.) But no other trainers portrayed what working for a non-profit actually meant to them.  And sure to some it means little to nothing, but to me, it always had a more substantial meaning.  Through tearful eyes, he told us the brave story of his upbringing.  How his mother struggled so badly to raise their family in the expensive city of NYC that they would eat cat food. And here he stood years later showing how possible it was to reach success, keep your head up and be loved by thousands. As I looked around the room I came to realize that I was most affected by his portrayal.

But our company changed and people started to take notice.  I became fed up and it was a big factor in me moving across country.  I was in constant contact with a large department, most of which was dissatisfied and I could not stand to hear the complaints anymore; it was my time to make a statement.  As a result, I set an example by making a swift withdrawal and making it known I was heading from NY to Las Vegas.

Months later a previous co-worker met with me for lunch in my new state.  The company had been placed in the media in the city for how ugly and greedy the “non-profit” had become. I gained the upmost respect from my fellow co-workers for my guts to move and I have lost track of how many now resigned in less than a year’s time.

Getting back to the inspiring trainer, he contacted me a few months ago saying “You are my hero.” This was because I left the company, dropped everything and started over.  To know I made an impact to such a significant individual made my day.  The most recent update is that he resigned realizing he outgrew the company and the direction they have gone in.  I know he will do great things moving forward because his aura alone sets him apart from the masses.

The best thing you can do in life is return a favor.  Inspire someone who has inspired you, look back and smile. 

Technology Letting Us Stay Connected to The People That Truly Matter and Inspire

One of my closest friends is a true role model and I have learned so much from him.  Some people are put in our lives so we can piggyback off of their module and go with ours.  Before this I have been part of numerous online communities.  Since the age of 12 I readily embraced Live Journal, Teen Open Diary, Open Diary, sharing my poetry, writing blogs on beauty and restaurants, but this blog was needed to both motivate and reflect on where I am in this stage of my life, the new chapter.  The most emotional chapter I have experienced yet…

My friend Andrew has been through many ups and downs in his life and since we are so close we have seen each other in the best of times and no doubt the worst of them as well.  We have journeyed through Maine, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts and thus we both settled on the more relaxed west coast.  He moved here years before I did and when I told him I was ready to pack my bags and head that way as well he was beyond excited.  Now, I heard a mix of reactions when I decided to make this huge life change.  From: “Are you really going to go through with it?” to “How can you make such a large change without a job?” But this is not what I heard from the positive people in my life.  Andrew made it part of his regiment to leave encouraging words on my Facebook, through emails, via texts and phone calls.  He knew this was a transitional, rocky time and even when I had too much pride to say I needed some motivation, he knew and he was ever present.

Oh, technology…although it can get many of us into deep, deep trouble it really depends on how we are utilizing it.  Sometimes a simple text that takes all but 30 seconds to compose is all a person needs to change their mind, make the right move and know someone cares.  It used to be a detailed phone call or even a card that needed to be sent, but sorry Hallmark, this works much better for our generation.

You will not see many names mentioned, although I will be readily bringing up friends and family members.  I mentioned Andrew because he took his skills to the next level and I look up to and congratulate anyone who does this.  He now is creating a series of YouTube videos to inspire the masses because he has always been fantastic at doing it on an individual basis.  I always said he should be a motivational speaker, I was just unsure of what his great mind would utilize to do it. 

Follow your dream; find the right people to lead you there and well forget the rest and leave them be.

Where Does Innocence Lead Us? Can We Find Our Soul Mates This Way?

Everyone is innocent in some way.  In the same context most people have some fear of being judged.  It does not mean that we cannot portray who we really are.  Because the rejection just gets more and more difficult the longer we live a lie doesn’t it?

One of my friends was a very late bloomer and I try to give her advice whenever I have the free time because back when I really needed it there was not anyone there to guide me in the right direction.  Ironically right now, two of my best girl friends (who also have the same name) not only live all the way on the other side of the country, but they are total opposites and they keep me forever grounded.  While one has been through everything I now experience and can tell me what fork in the road is ideal, the other has only dated two males ever and gets hopelessly lost in the dating world. These 2 stand out amongst the rest and I am more than thankful for it. Moving across country opened my eyes to who my true friends actually are.

When a male finds out how innocent you are it can go many ways, but often times women end up lost.  Unsure of what to say and then what if the male is already speaking to other women who know exactly what to say and he loses interest?  50 Shades of Grey shows how a submissive personality can stand out to the right man, but you need to be open and go with the flow in this case. 

Photo by Electron

If you are experienced you can choose to have the control.  Thus where does that leave you?  As the intimidator? Or do you simply carry that I don’t give a fuck glow that men can sense from miles and miles away.  It is all about confidence and this means you are less likely to be taken advantage of.

Find your true friends that you can share everything with…I’m someone who is known to be upfront and forward from the start.  I test people so I can get a true reading of who will except me and be there for me.  Life is too short to wonder if someone will be ok with how you grew up or even the odd interests you may have.  The friends I have are incredible because they accept me for me and I get emotional over how lucky I am for that sometimes.  I used to have the “party” friends in college and sure they are fun, but what happens when something of significance happens in your life.  Shouldn’t your party friends me the same people you can cry with, who will bend over backwards for you and send a few loving words when you are down?

Treat your dating life in the same way.  Be open and honest and do not let them slowly realize who you are.  I also have many stunning males in my life (and by stunning I do not mean physically).  Most of them I have never dated, but they stand by my side because of the impression I leave.  

Do you and love those unconditionally that appreciate you for it because you will find yourself unable to ever be unhappy for too long when you have so many people to lift you.